Why You Should Never Try to Be "That Girl"
"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these shall be added to you"—yes, including physical beauty.
Since Eden, women have been vulnerable to propaganda that promises a happier life—we hear it, and we can’t stay put until we buy into it.
Oh, how I hate seeing that phrase, “That Girl.”
It peddles “not-enoughness” to women, especially young women who are insecure about their identity and purpose, exploiting their fragile, susceptible, hatchling selves.
But I’ll be the first to stand and proclaim:
Yes, as a woman, beauty—inner and outer, physical and spiritual—is non-negotiable. As a woman, you should never “let it go.”
My standard for That Girl is higher than theirs.
My opposition to the That Girl trend isn’t about their standards being too demanding or unattainable—
Most people have no idea how many ridiculously beautiful women—without any plastic surgery whatsoever—exist in this world, because they’re confined to a physical comfort zone spanning less than two hours’ drive. They see someone online who’s “too pretty to be real” and jump to conclusions: Oh, must be plastic surgery.
As if surgeons could chisel a woman better than God.
Many women are born beautiful and maintain an almost perfect discipline over their diet, routines, and workouts.
So I have no issue with pursuing a better self. That-Girl trend doesn’t trigger my anxiety or make me feel “not enough”—
My problem with the trend is: It’s simply stupid.
Inefficient. Exhausting. Expensive. Distracting. It’s productivity without fruit—maximum effort, minimum results.
Wasting time, money, and energy to achieve an effortful beauty.
Man-made beauty always deflates before the God-made.
Artists who grind will always envy the gifted.
I by no means shame diligence—a crown virtue in Scripture—but I’m revealing this divine secret that is only reserved for those who fear Him (Psalm 25:14):
All things must flow.
All things must spring from your overflow with the Creator.
Your creativity shouldn’t strain if you labor in seeking the Lord.
Your beauty shouldn’t cost you too much time, money, or energy if you abide in the Source of beauty.
“In Him was life, and the life is the light of men.” John 1:4
This is why the chosen ones always look younger than their age. This is why the sons of God who walk after the Spirit (Romans 8:14) always stand out in the crowd. This is why wherever they go, eyes behold—though the darkness cannot comprehend light (John 1:5), it’s drawn to it.
We are light-creatures. We survive by light. When God said “Let there be light” on day one, the sun did not yet exist.
So the truth is always counterintuitive:
You’re not attractive because you’re physically beautiful;
you’re physically beautiful because you’re attractive—
Attraction comes from light.
Light comes from life.
Life comes from Jesus.
“He who believes in Me, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:38
If you’re new to this narrow path with God, you might not yet grasp the difference between “life” and Life.
True Life is eternal.
This earthly existence—to those who have not been born again in spirit—is merely a shadow and a glare, its death-sentence already written.
Either you die to your sins or you die in your sins. (John 8:21)
Sins age you because its end is death.
Whether that be lust, addiction to any substances, or
the sickness of the heart: unforgiveness, jealousy, selfishness, cruelty, pride, or
the chaos in the mind: anxiety, distraction, doubt, fear
Your body decays each second in sin, even the thought of it, the imagination of it.
The world preaches that we’re “born to die” so we must sin as much as possible, and enjoy all that sins could offer.
We’re “born to die” because of sin. And the One Who freed us from sins is Jesus Christ, and He Himself promised us: eternal life. (1 John 2:25)
Since we were little girls, we cared about our physical appearance. It’s anti-womanhood to tell women not to care for their physical beauty, because even when we had no interest in boys whatsoever, we desired beauty and being seen as beautiful.
Even the Word says, “your beauty should not merely be external.”(1 Peter 3:3)
So you can be as beautiful as you desire to be. You can—and should—try your best to be as beautiful as possible.
I’m simply directing you to a much more effective and efficient path by enlightening you with this truth:
In Him was life, and the life was the light of men—and the beauty of women.
Femininity in itself is high-maintenance. It requires a secure, safe, loving, encouraging environment to grow and bear fruit. Unfortunately, many women lack this luxury—whether because parents failed to provide it, a husband was incapable, or (most likely) women have been brainwashed to work like men, act like men, and handle life and stress like men—when we were never designed to bear the burdens and responsibilities God ordained for men.
It’s not that I’m lucky—I didn’t check all the boxes: perfect parents, a capable husband, or never needing a job—but I know where to find the environment that nurtures femininity:
At the feet of the Lord.
There I sit, listen, learn, ask questions, laugh and cry, sing and dance and praise, bow and kneel and intercede, give thanks and ask for my heart’s desires.
Notice I didn’t say “beg”?
No, I don’t beg. I’m not a dog (Matthew 15:27); I’m God’s daughter who eats at His table, not under it. All His promises—healing, deliverance, dominion, prosperity, peace, hope, joy, spiritual gifts—in Christ are “Yes” and “Amen.” (2 Corinthians 1:20) I only need to give thanks. And when it comes to life choices, I ask for His will—so a “No” is protection.
The only effort I make each day is to show up in His presence—and after that, everything flows.
Femininity is peace-giving, life-giving, hope-affirming, joy-generating—
You can’t give peace when you have no peace with God.
You can’t speak life into others when you have no real life.
You can’t affirm hope of the others when you doubt the Source of hope.
You can’t bring joy when you’re anxious and bitter.
Peace, life, joy, and hope—none of these depend on circumstances because none of these come from circumstances.
Femininity is the opposite of being emotional—the truth is counterintuitive: men are actually more emotional than women, only that they are taught to hide it.
Feelings and thoughts combined are emotion. If you let emotion direct your life, there'll be no peace for you. The devil manipulates our feelings and thoughts; do not give him attention, otherwise, he will give you direction.
To achieve that level of emotional discipline, you must be disciplined in your quiet time with the Lord. I’m not perfect in this, but I do come back quickly if I find myself being distracted—before I could be carried away by the concerns of this world.
One of the truths I preach is: The Bible is literal.
Here’s a verse that even your spirit of Leviathan cannot twist:
My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
Proverbs 4:20-22
God promises healing—and He meant physical healing as well. “It shall be done unto you according to your faith”—Jesus said this to everyone He healed.
God withholds no good thing—including physical healing—from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).
So it is wise, and not just humble, for us to admit that we lack faith, which is why we’re not healed, rather than let the devil convince us that God doesn’t want to heal us and hold a grudge against Him in the bottom of our hearts.
You won’t admit you hold grudges against Him, but your compromised prayer life reveals them. You praise Him with your lips yet harbor disappointment over unanswered prayers.
If the problem is that we lack faith—that’s good news, for faith does come by hearing (Romans 10:17).
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In the end, this is my discovery:
My skin glows when I pay little attention to skincare routines and focus more on God.
My body is in better shape when I don’t diligently count calories.
I have no craving for food, let alone unhealthy food, being close to God.
I unconsciously exercise more when the Holy Spirit comes upon me—walking extra miles before even noticing.
My sleep improves.
“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
So sure, you can try the "That Girl" lifestyle—stressing yourself out jumping from yoga to Pilates, meticulously planning meals only to crave food more intensely.
Why? Same principle as driving: you steer toward what you fixate on. Obsess over diet? You'll eat beyond plans. Hyper-focus on sleep quality? You'll toss and turn. Stress about one pimple? More will mushroom.
They attribute it all to cortisol, gut health, or hormone imbalance. And yes, I've studied the science—yet it never led me down that religious but godless path to beauty, for I've found the Source of health, wellness, and beauty.
Only a fool will go the extra mile to draw water out of a well when rivers of living water flow past his house.